Was it worth it? Father's Grief and the Price of Kingship
Tuesday, January 30, 2024, 4th Week in Ordinary Time
2 Samuel 18:9-10, 14b, 24-25a, 30–19:3
Today's reading narrates the death of Absalom and David's reaction to this news. The brief yet heartbreaking cry, "My son, Absalom!" reveals David's grief. Unlike when he eulogized Saul and Jonathan, or spoke words of wisdom upon the death of his infant child by Bathsheba, David is unable to find the strength or words. Here, the love of a father surpasses political wisdom, as exemplified by his chief general, Joab, who killed Absalom. However, David's realization that there are more important values than kingship comes too late.
"My son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!" (2 Sam 19:1). With this cry, the biblical author captures David's conflicting emotions. As a king, David did everything to thwart the plans of Absalom's advisers and suppress the rebellion, but it resulted in his son's death. Though David had ordered his troops not to harm the young Absalom, it was not enough to prevent the tragedy. His repeated question, "Is my boy Absalom safe?" (2 Sam 18:29, 32) showcases the depth of his love for his rebellious son. Even though he couldn't control the circumstances or predict that Joab would take matters into his own hands, David still feels responsible for his son's death.
Life demands sacrifices, but certain sacrifices lead to a question: was it worth it? When a CEO spends more time in the office than with their family, is it worth it? When an inventor's fame grows at the expense of family relationships, is it worth it? When a politician's wife files for a divorce, is it worth it? David's cry, "If only I had died instead of you," indicates that the price he paid to secure the continuation of his rule was far too high. Absalom is dead, and in that very moment, we witness the deep love David holds for his rebellious son.
In examining David's story, we are compelled to reflect on our own lives. Are we sacrificing meaningful relationships and personal well-being in the pursuit of success or power? Are we neglecting the emotional needs of our loved ones for the sake of our ambitions? David's experience teaches us the importance of finding a balance between our responsibilities and our relationships. It reminds us that true success is not solely measured by external achievements, but also by the depth of our connections with others.
As we navigate the complexities of life, may we learn from David's grief and strive to prioritize what truly matters. Let us cherish our loved ones, nurture our relationships, and remember that in the end, it is the quality of our connections that brings true fulfilment and lasting joy.