Honor your father and your mother
The Feast of the Holy Family
Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14; Colossians 3:12-21 (Col 3:12-17); Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23
The commandment to "honor your father and your mother" opens the second tablet of the Decalogue. Many are surprised by the fact that although we are commanded to love God (Deut. 6:5-6), our neighbor (Lev. 19:18), and even our enemies (Matt. 5:44), there is no specific commandment to love parents. Why? Love of parents is so natural that it does not need to be commanded. Showing respect to our parents is a different matter. The commandment establishes the authority of parents over their children (Sirach 3:2). "God has willed that, after him, we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on to us the knowledge of God" (CCC, 2197).
This is also the only commandment with a promise, "that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you" (Ex. 20:12). Sirach adds that obedience to this commandment "atones for sins" and makes our prayers effective (Sirach 3: 3.5). Thus, longevity, atonement for sins, and effectiveness of prayer are the main fruits of obeying the fourth commandment. Our respect needs to be expressed in words and deeds. We cannot talk to our parents the way we talk to our peers - a sign of disrespect - and when comes to our deeds we should take care of our parents particularly in their old age and sickness (Sirach 3:12-14). But, honoring our parents also spring from gratitude.
"Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love, and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace" (CCC, 2215). At the center of today's Gospel is Jesus' earthly father, Saint Joseph, the Guardian of the Savior and the patron of the Universal Church. His immediate response to the angel's warning of the danger coming from Herod the Great saved the life of the Child Jesus (Matt. 2:13-15) and the decision to live in Galilee instead in Judea (Matt. 2: 19-23) allowed Jesus to grow safely "in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man"(Luke 2:52).
Family is the best place where we can practice the commandment of love on daily basis. The virtues that hold a family together are mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience (Col. 3:12). And since none of us is perfect, we often have to forgive each other our sins and mistakes (Col. 3:13). A touching example of such forgiveness is the dialogue between Joseph and his brothers that took place after the death of their father Jacob. When the brothers asked for forgiveness for the evil they inflicted on him in his youth, Joseph, with tears in his eyes, said: "Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today"(Gen. 50: 19-20).
The blessing of family life is shown in today's psalm (Ps. 128). Happy family life is the fruit of the fear of God, namely keeping God's commandments. It brings blessings of material wealth and numerous offspring. But, when we read it from a spiritual perspective, we find a deeper meaning in it. The one who showed a perfect "fear of God" is Jesus Christ. His fruitful wife is the Church, and the fruit of their mutual love is the family of God's children, those who believe in Christ and were born to a new life in the waters of baptism.